i am broke

wala ko kwarta. .

난 돈이 없어. .

お金がない。 。

boa valenti

ボアのように踊れたら嬉しくなったのに。 。

kun amo lang ko ni kanami magsaot pareho kay Boa. .

facebooking^^

sadya lang sang facebook ah. .

^^

i do love the philippines, man

a korean national wrote an essay about filipino people not loving their country, the philippines; thus poverty.

i might say it's mostly the leaders of this country. they hold the utmost power to make and let the betterment of the people's lives happen. our presidents have been all over the world and perhaps would book a flight to the moon and jupiter to let our country known. but, essentially, what can we little citizens do? i would say A LOT. it's not that we don't love our country.

i love the flamboyant costumes of our folk dances here. i love fiestas and secretly, i am proud of the respective annual festivals held in every province in this country. dinagyang. sinulog. mascara. they could be equated to the mardi graz of brazil. where else can we dip green mango in shrimp paste? i love the diversity of languages spoken in different subcultures and even more so, the power of tagalog that brings us all together in times of calamity, even entertainment..

filipinos love their country. they are always proud of their town of birth. friendster and facebook among others will attest to that. i was once asked by yet another korean guy why filipinos don't have dreams. i literally gaped to the question. the only sentence that came out of my mouth was, "we do have dreams." that time, we were at a restobar he favored. he was impressed by the food and the way the place appealed to him. so i asked him back. "the owner of this bar is a filipino. if he hadn't had dreams of putting up a bar like this, would you have this bar to come to so often?"

and what about small scale businesses such as sari-sari stores? turo-turos? don't the owners of these businesses dream of sending their children to better colleges? and don't their children want to find better jobs here or abroad as a way to repay their parents' hardships for them? [by the way, working abroad doesn't mean you don't love your country].

yes it is true that [probably] the majority of us are below middle class but that doesn't qualify us for not dreaming and not loving this country. it is true that we have what foreigners from developed countries might call, "ghastly" streets. and it is true that less privileged people live along these streets. and it is true that they might even have had little-or if not, no education at all. but just to note, the philippines is not the country any foreigners who come here is accustomed to. surely, they would notice a lot of things which they are so unaware of also exist in where they come from.

so, with my little knowledge about other nations, why are there streets or villages in america where outsiders fear to tread? think about it, it's america. so these local americans don't love their country as well? some of them can't even tell where america is on the world map.

a month ago or so, i went to the iloilo museum. as i was looking at the almost worn out balck and white photos, i paused in wonderment. my mind lingered at the thought that filipinos had been colonized for so long that they had almost lost their sense of identity as a race, as a nation. but there they were, standing proud in the photos as their fellow countrymen had shed tears and blood just to win back the freedom and independence denied of them for the longest time ever. surprisingly though, the filipinos now never hold grudge against the peoples who for so many times enslaved and maltreated their ancestors.

in the museum, i noticed that many of the buildings in the photos--magnificent and depicted power--are still standing in the streets of iloilo city today! but where is the power that they once radiated? how long has the much more powerful stench of garbage around them reigned?

now, could i do anything about it? you? your high school or college social science teacher? could anyone? aren't we just mere citizens? we need a leader.

surely, the government has done many a great thing to improve the lives of many filipinos. i have taken note of scholarship programs, tree planting and river cleanup projects among others. but still, why the protests? [occasional?] upheaval? filipinos may not be perfect but they they are intelligent enough to sense what kind of leader or government they are under.

think of this an analogy. adolf hitler had all the power to shut anyone up. so do we really believe that all of his nazi soldiers never showed compassion to the jews? after all they were just all humans, weren't they? yet what could they do? they were merely tiny specks in hitler's bigger world.

if there were a movement or a project to renovate the buildings down in calle real, i wouldn't hesitate to spare some of my time to volunteer. after all my father was a carpenter, and we still have his tools at home.

you love me, eh?

i am not proud of what i have done, but i am not sorry about nor ashamed of it either. . i am only sorry that it has to be you. . and it has to be like that. .

hhmm. .

i am up early again. .

my eye is starting to get better. .

im starting to feel better too. .

for some reason i felt like i was in the slump in the past few days. .

but im okay now. .

maybe. .

boracay's a week away!!

来週の週末に友達とボラカイに行く待てない。 。

この予定は、まだウパルタで働いていた時の予定だ。。

やっと、皆で行ける。 。^^

ワクワクしているよ！！。 。

like a snake

いつかあなたは、ゆっくり床に這う。 。

蛇のように。 。

early morning thoughts

i am up so early today.

bet i'm gonna have a helluva headache later on.

i wonder what michael is up to in baguio right now. . is he in someone else's bed? it's cold up there. .

mai mai in canada. . is she mopping floors at mcdonald's or something? i'm sure she misses home like hell. .

aubrey with baby gab. . is she waiting for a call or even just a text message from james abroad? it never comes, does it, my friend?

lorgin at arvie's apartment. . was she with ray at the duckpin alley last night? she's really doing well being a very good friend to him. .

joelaine. . when will she fly to america? naive as she is at times, i admire the strength of character she possesses. .

annie with her little angel. . does she smoke around her? she shouldn't. .

killian in korea. . has he been waiting for me on skype? i know how much he really wants to talk to me. .

ford with his newborn son. . does his delight from his baby's face get stronger each time? he flooded my email with his baby's pics. .

takeshi in japan. . is he also up early like me? he's always up this early, for work. .

my mom at home. . is she still battling with her grief over my father's passing? i wish i were there with her. . damn this sore eye. .

my brother. . is he contemplating what to do with his life? i am glad he has started making decisions on his own, for the better. .

my elder half brother in tigbauan. . does he feel alone? i can be there for him. . i care about him, too. .

father. . are you watching over us? i miss you. .

is this a sore eye?!

my right eye is feeling kinda funny!!

it's red and a bit swollen. .

is this an irritating case of a sore eye?

i'd like to think it's just some sort of an insect bite. .

one that's done by a tiny unforgiving bug while i was in deep slumber. .

because. .

im not getting any sore eyes, not now.

not this month.

NOT EVER!!!!

can i say fuck? or shit? or both?

fucking shit!

late late night blues

i am thinking about you.

all the time.

you.

you.

you.

cebu will have to wait another year. .

今、セブにいることになっているよ。今年の１２月のJLPTのとうろくの為に、セブに行くことになっている。残念ながら、お金はたりなくて、特に、時間もたりな過ぎている。オブリーも一緒に行きたいけど、彼女も、お金がない。ははは。 。 大変な状況だね。 。試験は一年一回かんりされるから、セブは一年ぐらい俺を待たなきゃいけない。。今年のクリスマスがとてもメリメリなクリスマスだと思っている。。実は、俺がその試験にじゅんびできてない。そして来年のJLPTを必ず受ける。多分その時には、たくさん習ったことがある。。。でもね、今の飛行機の料金は本当に安い！！！残念なあぁ。。

だけど、九月十九日に、スパルタの友達とボラカイに行くつもりだ。その時にまだ待てない。 。 白い砂。 。 青い海水。 。きれいな夕焼け。 。静な場所。 。涼しい風。 。ただ自然 。 。

まだセブに行きたいけど。 。

i am supposed to be flying to cebu today. . for the JLPT registration. . too bad i don't have enough money and especially time to go there. . so i guess cebu will have to wait another year since the test is only administered once a year -- in december!!! it's gonna be a merry merry christmas next year. .

anyways, me and friends from sparta are planning a trip to boracay this september. . it's gonna be a blast!! can't wait to see the white sand. . azure waters. . romantic sunset. . cool breeze. . just nature. .

but i still want to go to cebu. . darn. .

2NE1

hehehe. . FIASCO is defined by this video heheh ^^

damn. . damn. . damn. .

TAY~~

it is almost 3 in the morning and i am still here in front of the PC monitor. .

i can't sleep.

i am repeatedly listening to the song called "whiter shade of pale". surely it's a remake coz i had heard the original version with my father when i was a kid.

my father. .

he was probably enjoying the song then; he liked this kind of music. particularly that of the beatles.

now that i am listening to it, memories of him keep flooding my head that i can't contain them all.

i miss him so much.

he was the strongest man with the kindest heart i had ever known. i am not sure if i had even been there for him in his weakest times. i always regarded him as someone who could handle everything without depending on anyone.

he raised us on his own. he was never selfish. always giving. always considerate.

now i just want to make some tuna sandwiches and eat them with him and talk about work. about my brother. about my mother. about reparing our house together. and the short pants he had asked for which i never had the chance to buy for him.

i want to ask him to watch some movies together and argue about the actors he did not even know.

i want to talk to him about about how the beatles got so popular.

i want to share his knowledge about the 70's.

i want to clean up the mess he would make after making his afternoon coffee. then complain about it to him.

i want to apologize for talking back to him for so many times i can't remember now why and when.

i want to make up for the four long years of not speaking to him during my high school years.

i want to thank him for teaching me my first abc's. for making me a wooden gun. for taking me to school and for fetching me every lunchtime. for selling his chickens for my school project. for telling me that i had to love my brother no matter what. for keeping his temper when i took home someone he despised. for loving my mother in his own ways. for the security he always made me feel.

now i don't feel so safe anymore.

i want to hear his voice.

look at his face.

and call him TATAY over and over and over and over and over. .

and just hug him tightly.

tell him i love him.

and get those short pants he asked for.

i would give him a thousand pairs.

ford's first kid

今夜、レイとロジンとボウリングのようなゲームをしながら、韓国の友達はちょうきょり電話かけてくれた。名前は、フォードなんだけど、本当の名前はジェフーンだ。彼は、奥さんが男の赤ちゃんを生んだって。彼に、『あなたは、お父さんになったよ！』って。彼は、俺にすうど電話かけたって、ずっと電話をとらなかったんだ。あの通話は、銀行からと思っていた。俺は、銀行に借金があるから。できるかぎり銀行の人にさけたいんだ。

とにかく、今友達がお父さんになったのは、素晴らしい。七年前に、俺の大学に英語を勉強の為に来た。その時に、俺もオーブリーも大学の英語のセンターでアルバイトをしていたから、フォードに会った。始めに、彼は俺の学生だったけど、もうすぐお互いに、友達になった。いつでもいろいろな所で遊んでいた。韓国に戻ったときには、悲しかったよ。

だけど、去年ここにガールフレンドと一緒にボラカイに遊ぶ為に戻った。もう一度一緒に行った。楽しかった。 。 と思っている。

彼の赤ちゃんは手にいたら、よかったのに。 。

another tale told

今夜は、会社の友達に前の恋人のことについて聞いた。友達が何年前にギマラスと言う島に行ったら、恋人を見つけたと言っていた。友達は、恋人が外国人と一緒に遊そんでいたって。その外国人は、東洋人だったけど、友達が、韓国人か日本人かどうか分からなかった。その後で、友達と恋人と外国人がボートにした。


そのことについて聞いた後には、気分が悪くなちゃったけど、自分に『大丈夫』と言っていた。だけど、その言葉は、気分をなだめる為にたりないと思っているよ。新しい恋人を捜すことも、たりないよね。でもね、全然泣かない！！


もう一度会いたくないことはないんだけど、恋人の全ての嘘とだましのことの為に、公正が要らなきゃいけないと思っているよ。今恋人が何をしていることを構わないんだけど、気分が悪くなったのは仕方がない。それで、怒っているよ。本当に恋人を殺したいよ！！ゆっくり殺したい！！ねえぇ。 。実は、あまり怒っていない。『怒っている』ってのは、冗談だけだった。『殺したい』ってのけど。 。それも、冗談だけかなー。 。多分俺は、気違いになったよね。


とにかく、日本語で、感情を言い表すのは、びっくりしちゃった。 多分ね、いつか、もうすぐ、だれかが俺が見つけられると思っている。多分、あのだれかはあなたでしょう。 。 本当に気違いになったね。 。

have a little faith in me

Have A Little Faith In Me

mandy moore

and i just love this song . .

a video soon. .

新しく習った言葉のビデオを造りたい。でもカメラがなくて、日本語で話すことは思うほど、易しくないよ。

36 stupid friendster questions

1 . When was the last time you saw the 6th person on your featured friends?

> who are they?

2. What is bothering you right now?

> credit card debts

3. Will you kiss the last person you kissed again?

> in a hundred years, perhaps

4. What is in your wallet right now?

> a condom i could have used last saturday, but i don't have a wallet [making sense?]

5. Wallpaper on your computer's desktop?

> dont have a pc now

6. wallpaper on your cell phone?

> i have a low tech phone [shit]

7. Where was your primary picture taken?

> at the grand dame hotel with aub and someone who miserably died [but it's not sad, trust me]

8. Do you like messages or comments better?

> comments make friendster more friendster-like; messages, yahoo-like

9. What is the last thing you ate today?

> curry that tasted like rubber or something

10. What will you do this weekend?

> hopefully get laid after my japanese class

11. Who was the last person to send you a text message?

> mike, about how he missed his chance to get his ass to china

12. If you could have one person with you right now who would it be?

> nobody can know

13. Listening to?

> bad drive by boa and do you remember by phil collins

14. Have you ever kissed anyone named Phillip?

> hahaha. . mel has and she is bitter about it hahaha

15. ARE YOU Eating now?

> want to [even at this late hour]

16. Have you hit someone today?

> annie -- on the back

17. Do you believe in soul mates?

> maybe

18. What do you wear to bed?

> clothes made of fabric, not of asbestos or straw

19. Are you excited for school?

> school of fish? hehe im excited about my japanese class and getting laid after

20. What is your dream car?

> not in the market yet

21. What did you do last weekend?

> bore myself to death. . ah, i got laid after my japanese class

22. What have you learned recently?

> that credit cards are bull and the japanese word for swell and deliver [they're hareru 腫れる and todokeru 届ける, respectively]

23. What are you going to do after this?

> sleep, and/or something else

24. What was the last text message you sent?

> teh grab [go figure out what it is]

25. Have you ever had a crush on your sisters/brothers friend?

> nope, but i slept with them. . [bet i gotcha there for a sec] haha sucker!!
my answer to the question though is NO

26. How good is your eyesight?

> i have special retinal nerves for spotting cute human beings

27. What was the last thing you drank?

> water, 水, 물, tubig

28. Whose house did you go to last?

> my own and aub's

29. Who was the last person you visited in the hospital?

> took my father there

30. Do you love someone right now?

> love can be defined in a general scale

31. Name three drinks you drank today?

> pineapple juice for breakfast, apple juice for lunch, water after dinner

32. what are you excited about?

> going to my japanese tutor's house and study japanese and get laid

wait..
[i think there is a connection between learning japanese and getting laid, have you noticed?]

33. What is your dream phone?

> ang damo load

34. Ever broken a promise?

> every single solitary time

35. Last vacation? Where?

> big one? in bacolod with aub mike and au au

36. Last time you prayed?
> when i stopped believing . . ah, when we went island hopping around boracay island

何も言わない

wala lang ko may mahambal. . damo tani galing wala ko kabalo paano ibatutyag isa-isa.

何も言わない。 。 たくさんがあるんだけど、どうひとつずつ言い表されるのが分かない。 。

aga pa. .

aga pa ko nakakita sang indi dapat.

siguro wala pa natapos.

o tapos na, wala lang ko "fallback".

sila may ara. ako wala. . pa.

hmm. .

突然に、父にさみしい。 。父は生きれば、今ジンスーのホテルに住んでいるのに、こんなにさみしくならなかった。 。 帰りたいんだ。 。 。

i miss my father all of a sudden. . if he were still around, i wouldn't be this lonely though i am staying here at the hotel. . i feel like going back home. .

moving in

先週の土曜日に、ジンスーの学生と一緒に住む為にCastle Hotelに引越した。ここではいいんだけど、家にもっともっと帰りたい。多分、それは、新しい経験だ。ここに慣れるかもしらない。だけど。 。

i moved in to the catle hotel last saturday. i really wanna go home though. this may be a new experience for me, and i might as well get used to it, but. .

no more you, no more me

hey you. you probably hated me for being such an asshole. the grandest kind there was. i thought i could keep you all for myself. you had probably felt that i would do anything to keep us together. even if i had to have a shouting match with my father for having seen kissing you. i told myself and held on to that thought that i would be with you for the longest time possible. you might not have known this. or maybe you might have, but chose not to speak of it.

i loved you. you made me love you. when you spoke of your past with him--or them-- i sensed that you had yearned for security. you had been longing for a soft place to land. yet right there in my bed, where we had made love so many times, i felt that you would rather have to stay up all night crying in their beds than sleep in all comfort in mine. i felt like wanting to compete but would i? no. i couldn't measure up to them. many a night i would stay up, my heart pounding, stomach churning -- physical reactions to the matters of the heart.

even so, i stayed. your fingers encaged me into your arms, and i loved being imprisoned there. it was there where your lips fed my addiction to you. it was there where the needle i needed was injected to me in pain, and in pleasure. it was there where you could have become completely mine -- only if the sun would not rise the next day.

we made love. and you conceived lies. you twisted the truth a little bit so as to sound as if i had been born the previous day. i told you the darkest things i had never told anyone about. things that i would even beg the heavenly editors not to include in my book of life. things that i would not write here.

so to seek the truth, i flipped one page of your diary, and another. and another. on every page was a new name of a guy you had slept [or had been sleeping] with. on every page was a different name, complete with all the profile and details from how you unbotton his shirt and unzip his pants to how you loved the warmth of his hands on your skin. every word formed into tiny pins pressing against my chest. it was then as if all my blood was drained from me, my head felt so light. i couldn't say anything. and my actions thereafter were the exact opposite of what i was dying to say. i did not curse. i did not shout. i kissed your eyes and walked away instead.

yet, there you were. trailing behind. was it because you loved me? because you wanted me? or because it felt so damn good to have someone dance into your own hands? what do people call it? ah, ego trip. why didn't you just let me be? i had made a choice. but then, one night, on a casual phone call you told me that you loved me. i never bought that. never.

then why the hell did i love you? one night, you cried over your spilled milk. i didn't know what had happened between you and him, but it was he that had taken hold of your heart. i saw that in your eyes. it was dim in my room, but with what i saw in your eyes, i knew all i could do was hold you close and tight. secretly, after you had fallen asleep, i wept. i had seen one person in so much pain. and that person was calmly breathing in a deep sleep right next to me. days, weeks, months after that night, i was falling in love with you.

then one missent message to my phone from you -- at 4 in the morning.

then a missent email from you. my name is not jason. and you had never called me that.

lies after another. one secret and then more.

like, you had gotten tired of me. so you set your eyes on this military guy from america who would then later send you green cash for what, uhm, your dream to be a nurse in the states? and wasn't it convenient! so you wanted to be a part of the big american dream after all. or so it seemed.until the moshi-moshi-arigato guy came along. or should i say, lured by you. nihonjin ga suki desu ne. nande? okane tame? maybe. probably. most likely.

dumping the dollars for the yen? not so inconvenient, was it?

by this, i was so disgusted to my core i rebelled. i slept with anyone available and willing.

in their cars. on dark street corners. in public restrooms. in cheap and pungent motel rooms.

only to feel the void and chaos raging inside of me.

i had never felt so miserable and dirty in my whole damn life.

they say it takes two to tangle. but how come i blamed you for all of this?

i blamed you because you had no idea how much you had hurt me. yeah, yeah, yeah. so cliche. you had no idea how many nights i had to stay up late just thinking how you could be so calm about your lies being uncovered or obvious, and me being so disgusted by them. did you like it when i was so disgusted by you? or perhaps you had no single solitary clue that i was spewing out my intestines out everytime you spill your lies on me.

you thought our relationship was one that was "you-love-me-so-i-know-you're-not-gonna-leave-me" type? trust me when i wanted to walk out on you when i did, i so meant it. but then again, you would either stand in my way or trail behind.

the cycle i rode with you was so sickening i had always wanted it to stop.part of me would rather stay in the tracks -- keep on being sick and be with you. but most of me wanted to just jump off. and thank god i did it. and thank god again for the broken parts i acquired from the fall. my heart had the most damage.

then after quite a long while the great good old me came to you one night. it must have been the withdrawal from my addiction to you. and much to my regret [or "humiliation" might be the proper term], you left me untouched and cold and clad despite efforts almost criminal. you know how it made me feel? not even close to a single grain of sand. and each time you dished japan-made items out of that box, you blew me into a blackhole.

had you ever stopped and thought of me even just for a short while? why i did what i did? why i wanted you like i did? why i saw you through when i did? why i let you let me love you like i did? you always resisted me. you dismissed my joys. you took my concerns for granted. you shut me out. and news flash: it hurt.

now i can't apologize to you for the things i have already apologized to you for. i do apologize for being such an asshole when i was. and can be. there is nothing that can be said nor done that could change anything. your words are just that, words [or lies]. my words, nothing.

this whole thing must have appeased you. and with this whole damn thing, i may repel you, in any conceivable way. keep in mind, though, that i don't hate you. i had always emphasized that. and if there was anything at all that seemed to appear the other way around, my apologies. i may have just been disgusted by you and with myself for letting happen what did. all in the name of what i had always believed was love.

and with such immense repulsion i feel towards you, there is no way you could ever come near me again. nor to any of my endeavors.

i guess that ride on a flat boat would never happen after all.

no more beach side nights for us anymore. they were so repugnant anyway. loathesome, as you had put it.

i would miss your drawings, though. now i could be honest about them being not so award-winning but i knew how much effort and ability you had put into them.

no more friendship. no more fights. no more lies nor truths that would bind us or break us both. no more tears. nor laughs. even farts.

no more words from each other. no more you. no more me.

but i owe you big time. i owe you lessons learned only by spending time with you. lessons learned only by sleeping with you. crying with you. laughing with you. talking with you. listening to you. i owe this verdana font to you.

i really loved you.

i don't know what forgiveness is. maybe it doesn't matter. or probably it is not necessary. i believe i am at peace now. i am out of your life. it is a choice. surely it is destiny. and i'd rather it remained that way -- forever.

good bye.

i really wanna work there, but. . .

夕べは、知らない女の人とコーヒーブレークと言う喫茶店で合った。彼女はいとこの日本語で書いてある通知表を翻訳して欲しかった。たくさん漢字が書いてあったから、翻訳できなかった。でも、彼女が二日間に待てれば、たぶん、あの書面を英語に翻訳できると言った。今まで彼女は連絡しなかった。

バコロドで働いている友達は彼の働いている学校で働きたいかどうかメッセージを送った。本当に働きたいよ。だって。 。 借金がいっぱいよ。あのバコロドの高校の最初の給料は八千ペソだけだ。だって。。あそこで働きたいんだ。。借金だから、バコロドで働くのことは無理だと思っている。そのことは残念だけど、しかたがない。

haikus [or seemingly so]

Playful

Yarn balls soft they roll

back and forth a kitten's paws

on a wooden floor.

Untitled

His room enters she

window sills light passes through

'neath covers weeps he.

Wet

Rain falls, washes trees

leaves sway to the whooshing breeze

birds' nest wet on twigs.

Sweet Escape

Take my hand let's flee

across rice fields to the sea

at moonrise with me.

For A Rainy Day

An ant from a mound

tiny bread crumbs on the ground

thunder's distant sound.

maybe one day

昨日、俺の教室で一人で『When A Man Loves A Woman』と言う曲を聞いていた。メロディは感動させていると思っているのに、、その歌の意味が感じられなかった。なんでかなぁー。。。だって、会いたい人がいるんだけど、お互いに遥かに住んでいるよ。それは大変だけど、大丈夫。多分、いつか、会える。で、あの日は必ず、この世界で一番素晴らしい日になる！！！

there's one person i want to see though we live so far away from each other. maybe someday, we will be able to cross paths. and that day will defy all the natural laws i have ever known.

just like the moon

just like the moon,

i gaze at you

stunned by fascination

just like the moon,

you set my mind

in orbital motion

just like the moon,

you pull me close

in such strange cosmic force

just like the moon,

now i see you

then i see you not

just like the moon,

i gaze at you

but cannot touch.

a good samaritan

先週の日曜日に、モールに行きながら、ポケットから、五百ペソが気付けらなく落ちた。だって、男の人は後ろから俺に呼んでいた。『これはあなたのお金ですか』と彼は俺に追い付いてたずねた。俺はポケットに手探りして、五百が本当になくて、びっくりしちゃった。そして、お金をさりげなく取り戻した。彼にかんしゃしていた。くりかえしてかんしゃしていた。彼は、ただほほえんで、歩いて行った。知っていない人にお金を戻している人がまだいるのことはびっくりした。俺はあの人はだったら、そんなにことをするかもしれなかった。本当に。


a 5oo peso bill fell from my pocket as i was on my way to a mall last sunday. to my surprise, a man from behind came up to me and asked me if the money belonged to me. i felt my pocket for the valuable 5oo peso bill but it wasn't there. of course, i took the money back and thanked him over and over and over. he just smiled and walked off. i still can't believe that there are people who would return such amount of money to people they don't know. if i had been him, i might have done the same.

when the stars go blue

星は青くなったら、どこへ行く? 恋人の胸へ?



so, where do you go when the stars go blue? to your lover's heart?

angel

優美に歌っているね。。



doesn't she just sings gracefully!!^^

いつも側にいるよ

恋愛はどこに? 側にないよ。



where is the love? hehehe^^

we won!!!

一昨日はジンスーの英語の日だった。コンテストの為に、生徒は三のグループに
分けられた。で、俺と、アニー、ローギン、グレグ、ジョエルは三グループにぞく
した。それで、いろいろな英語のことの活動の為に、我々は生徒を訓練しなきゃ
いけなかった。訓練は大変で、難しかった。時々、練習の為に、来た生徒はたり
なかった。例えば、韻文がっしょうたいのばいは生徒は興味がなそうで、いつで
も不平を言っていた。我々は死ぬほど教えていたけど、生徒達は真剣じゃなそう
だった。叫びたかったよ。だって、完ぺきな上演が欲しかった。疲れたんだけど、
もっと練習したかった。ロージンはデクレメイションの代表を訓練した。アニー
とジョエルは、デュエットの代表と。俺はオレイションの代表と。皆は韻文がっ
しょうたいにさんかした生徒とよく訓練した。韻文がっしょうたいの名前は
『The Congo』でした。韻文がっしょうたいは一番だった。そして、やっぱり、勝っ
たんだ！嬉しくなった！！誇ったよ！！賞は、ブルーオシャンと言うレストラン
で夕ご飯だった。俺は行かなかったんだけど。

木蓮の涙

初めては、アーティストは前の恋人の新しいボーイフレンドみたい。それでびっく
りした。 。 。ハハハ。 。 。曲は大好きなんだけど。 。 。



one of them looks like my ex's new guy. . hahaha. . darn. .

サクラ

コブクロの声は、タケシさんの声のように同じです。きれいな歌ですね。



they sound like my friend takeshi. doesn't the song sound beautiful!! ^^

白い色は恋人の色

かわいい。いつかゆっくり彼女たちに会いたいよ。。^^



cute. . wanna see them face-to-face one day. . ^^

3 count

この曲はゆるませている。



this song makes me feel so laid back. . .

candy

初めてこの曲を聞いたら、彼女の名前を知っていなかったのに、瞬間に彼女の顔に
恋にしちゃたよ。へへ
名前は『mandy moore』です。



the moment i saw her on MTV, i instantly fell in love with her. . .
the name is mandy. . . hehe ^^

back to good

その曲は俺を絶対にうんざりさせない。聞いたら、遅くまで起きさせている。



keeps me all night simply by just listening to it. .

hey boy hey girl

その曲は高校生の時に有名でした。それを聞いたら、郷愁になります。



takes me back to high school. . ^^

winding road

この曲は強力ですが、意義ぶかいです。

bad drive

そこのボアのビデオはユーチューブに見つけた。最初に聞いた時に、すぐに大好きだった。ビートと、ダンスステープはすごく楽しかった。俺は彼女ように踊られることを望んでいる。教えてくれないの。^^

i fell for the song the second i saw it on you tube. . i like the beat and the dance steps. .

i wish i had her legs for dancing. . ^^

coming and going

you have been to so many places that i may not be able to set a foot on. .

you have seen so much of this world and yet maintained a positive perspective. .

you have been to places where knowledge dwells. .


knowledge that you selflessly instill in the minds of the youth that admire and look up at you. .

you give importance to those you know will catch you when you fall. .

you never let down the people who have faith in you. . your mom. . sister. . and your late father. .

they are more than fortunate to have you as a son. . as a brother. .

and i admire you for putting them before any other needs. .

you are intelligent. .

and admirable. .

and trustworthy in this world of pretense, superficiality and disloyalty. .

you recognize the value of things. .

appreciate every good thing that comes your way. .

the pain in your heart might be masked by the happy smiles you wear in your face. .

smiles that capture the heart of those who know you well. . those who care for you. .

but in times of sorrow. . you never fail to reach out to the one someplace up there to hold you up

so that you won't falter to much. .

so that you will find a way to carry on appreciating life's beauty despite the loss and confusion. .

in your heart, you have undying faith that keeps you aglow. .

in my heart, you can never be too far away. .

snow: up close

Canada at last, huh. . .


you are at the advent of a new phase in your life. .

it will ready you for the new adventures and challenges that difficult as they may seem to you, will definitely offer you fullfilment and rewards of peace in your heart. .


















your dreams are within your reach now. . look up at them, and in time they will be yours and not one single soul will tear you apart ever again. . .

weep not for falling and stumbling. . they are a requirement for life-long joy in your own time. .

you may not be here to make us laugh but you are always thought of and talked about and ever wanted to be around. .


i love you with all there is in my heart. .

cute gabo chan. . ^^

a new life has sprung from you. . he is a promise of new hope and countless joys that life will have to offer you both. .

take joy in his eyes. . in his cries. . in changing his diapers. .

he is the extension of your very own life. .

he is worthy of love. . deserving of happiness. .

when the universe seems to conspire against you, take him into your arms. . and let him drain the pain from your heart and tears from your eyes. .

you have the strength to pull yourself out of every ditch you fall into. .

he needs exactly the same strength from you. .

and how lucky is he to have you as his mother, mentor and guide. .

i am blessed to have you in my heart and in my life.

アーブの赤ちゃんです。ガボちゃんです。可愛いですね。 。

小さな天使みたいですね。 。

大きくなった時、頭がよくて、ハンサムな人になると思います。俺のように。 。 ^^

when he grows up, he's gonna be as handsome as ore. . ^^ hehehe ^^

what do i do with my japanese?

日本語で話せたいんです。だけど、ここには、日本語を 使っている人は、全然いないんです。それで、難しいと思っています。俺の日本語が上手になりたかったら、いつでも練習したほうがいいですね。でもね、練習の人はいません。どうしようね。

i wanna improve on my japanese. . but what do i do? i know i should be practicing but who do i practice with? there aren't many people who might want to learn japanese here. . .

HAIL A New Life!!!

オーブの友達は元気な男の赤ちゃんを生んだ。名前はジェイムズガブレールだ。名前は可愛くないけどね。でも俺が彼にバルと呼びたい。ヴァレンタインスの日に生まれたから。いつでも起きている特によく泣いている。なんでかな。。大きくなった時に日本語を教えたい。

バルの顔をよく見る時に、全ての問題が消えそうだ。本当に世界に天使みたい。いつか歌えるかな。踊れるかな。書けるかな。色々な外国語が話せるかな。バルの為に、一番ことが欲しい。

im back ^^

久しぶりねえ。 。 仕事で忙しかったから、ボログに書かなかったんだ。書くのことにさみしい。
そろそろたくさん事が来るよ。

its been a while. i've been busy at work and i miss writing here. there will be lots of stuff to come real soon.

誕生日おめでとう! ! ! ^^

きょうは、タケシさんの誕生日です。後で何をするつもりかな。かならず酒を飲むと思います。^^

HAPPY BIRTHDAY!!!

かんぱい！！！！

killian in motion picture

新しい仕事を見つけた。

in the jungle