late late night blues

i am thinking about you.

all the time.

you.

you.

you.

cebu will have to wait another year. .

今、セブにいることになっているよ。今年の１２月のJLPTのとうろくの為に、セブに行くことになっている。残念ながら、お金はたりなくて、特に、時間もたりな過ぎている。オブリーも一緒に行きたいけど、彼女も、お金がない。ははは。 。 大変な状況だね。 。試験は一年一回かんりされるから、セブは一年ぐらい俺を待たなきゃいけない。。今年のクリスマスがとてもメリメリなクリスマスだと思っている。。実は、俺がその試験にじゅんびできてない。そして来年のJLPTを必ず受ける。多分その時には、たくさん習ったことがある。。。でもね、今の飛行機の料金は本当に安い！！！残念なあぁ。。

だけど、九月十九日に、スパルタの友達とボラカイに行くつもりだ。その時にまだ待てない。 。 白い砂。 。 青い海水。 。きれいな夕焼け。 。静な場所。 。涼しい風。 。ただ自然 。 。

まだセブに行きたいけど。 。

i am supposed to be flying to cebu today. . for the JLPT registration. . too bad i don't have enough money and especially time to go there. . so i guess cebu will have to wait another year since the test is only administered once a year -- in december!!! it's gonna be a merry merry christmas next year. .

anyways, me and friends from sparta are planning a trip to boracay this september. . it's gonna be a blast!! can't wait to see the white sand. . azure waters. . romantic sunset. . cool breeze. . just nature. .

but i still want to go to cebu. . darn. .

2NE1

hehehe. . FIASCO is defined by this video heheh ^^

damn. . damn. . damn. .

TAY~~

it is almost 3 in the morning and i am still here in front of the PC monitor. .

i can't sleep.

i am repeatedly listening to the song called "whiter shade of pale". surely it's a remake coz i had heard the original version with my father when i was a kid.

my father. .

he was probably enjoying the song then; he liked this kind of music. particularly that of the beatles.

now that i am listening to it, memories of him keep flooding my head that i can't contain them all.

i miss him so much.

he was the strongest man with the kindest heart i had ever known. i am not sure if i had even been there for him in his weakest times. i always regarded him as someone who could handle everything without depending on anyone.

he raised us on his own. he was never selfish. always giving. always considerate.

now i just want to make some tuna sandwiches and eat them with him and talk about work. about my brother. about my mother. about reparing our house together. and the short pants he had asked for which i never had the chance to buy for him.

i want to ask him to watch some movies together and argue about the actors he did not even know.

i want to talk to him about about how the beatles got so popular.

i want to share his knowledge about the 70's.

i want to clean up the mess he would make after making his afternoon coffee. then complain about it to him.

i want to apologize for talking back to him for so many times i can't remember now why and when.

i want to make up for the four long years of not speaking to him during my high school years.

i want to thank him for teaching me my first abc's. for making me a wooden gun. for taking me to school and for fetching me every lunchtime. for selling his chickens for my school project. for telling me that i had to love my brother no matter what. for keeping his temper when i took home someone he despised. for loving my mother in his own ways. for the security he always made me feel.

now i don't feel so safe anymore.

i want to hear his voice.

look at his face.

and call him TATAY over and over and over and over and over. .

and just hug him tightly.

tell him i love him.

and get those short pants he asked for.

i would give him a thousand pairs.

ford's first kid

今夜、レイとロジンとボウリングのようなゲームをしながら、韓国の友達はちょうきょり電話かけてくれた。名前は、フォードなんだけど、本当の名前はジェフーンだ。彼は、奥さんが男の赤ちゃんを生んだって。彼に、『あなたは、お父さんになったよ！』って。彼は、俺にすうど電話かけたって、ずっと電話をとらなかったんだ。あの通話は、銀行からと思っていた。俺は、銀行に借金があるから。できるかぎり銀行の人にさけたいんだ。

とにかく、今友達がお父さんになったのは、素晴らしい。七年前に、俺の大学に英語を勉強の為に来た。その時に、俺もオーブリーも大学の英語のセンターでアルバイトをしていたから、フォードに会った。始めに、彼は俺の学生だったけど、もうすぐお互いに、友達になった。いつでもいろいろな所で遊んでいた。韓国に戻ったときには、悲しかったよ。

だけど、去年ここにガールフレンドと一緒にボラカイに遊ぶ為に戻った。もう一度一緒に行った。楽しかった。 。 と思っている。

彼の赤ちゃんは手にいたら、よかったのに。 。